Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Running from pain

Trapped in the cocoon
I built around myself
I wonder what made me
Build it in the first place

It may have been an attempt
To heal the bruises and hurt
From an emotional battle
Being fought for years

To prove a silly point
Against myself
Against the one I loved
Against family

It resulted in losses
Loss of trust
Loss of innocence
Loss of the sense of purpose

And then I decided
To steel myself
From any further
Emotional damage

I set aside all painful memories
Locked and hidden away
I built a facade around me
To guard against further pain

The pain was fooled
For quite some time
But eventually it got me
The facade gave way

Now the pain
Is ubiquitous
Within the facade
And outside

However far I may run
I cannot hide
I can always feel
Its presence by my side

It's almost like family now
You may not agree with them
But you're bonded nevertheless
As nature often controls choice

PS: This was written in a simple poetic mood, not as mournful as it sounds. And yes, it's an attempt at healing too. I recently found out that the mind never forgets anything (I believed I conveniently cut out a lot of painful memories).

2 comments:

sphinx said...

well we try to run away and shun out those moments of life that gave us the maximum pain..until recently i believed 2 that my mind has this utra super power to forget and forgive anything,come may...but call it coincidence,recently i found out too how false my assumptions were..and ur rite,mind never forgets...i feel so close 2 u sometimes..and i'd really really like 2 knw more..love the poem,yeah it sounds mournful..but u knw words like these come straight frm the heart.

Pallavi Sharma said...

"i'd really really like 2 knw more"
heh heh
any time!
what's email for, baybee?