If only

If only I could understand solitude
Instead of feeling lonely

If only I could read those romances
Without wanting them so badly

If only I didn't ask Why
When one of them ended

If only you hadn't responded
Attempting to explain

If only we didn't seek in each other
Those romances we read

If only I would listen
To the nagging in my head

If only I didn't fall so easily
For all the things you said

If only I had put it all together
Up there in my head

If only I didn't hand out my heart
As easily as in the past

If only I could realize sooner
The lies and the deceit

If only I could believe I was
Being taken for a ride

If only you were the truth
Not the fallacy I faced

If only those dreams remained
Intact as they were

If only the innocence were not
Betrayed over and over

If only you remained the friend
I thought you were

If only I can rekindle the hope
You doused when you left

If only I can learn to trust
All over again

If only I could uncork that
Which now lies sealed

If only I could ever feel
My wounds being healed

If only I could give again
As I gave to you

Pure, unquestioning, pristine, and true