Monday, December 09, 2024

Fear, in reprise

So, you've been here for a while now
Two and a half years
Of running on fumes

Waiting, resting, recovering, hoping
For a time when you've healed
Enough to move on

From all that has happened before
That you didn't process
That you couldn't

Not that you've been vegetating
But everything you did
Took extra effort

And now, suddenly, there's movement
Of things looking up
A tad too quickly

Things going well may bring in new fears
And you know you can get through
But self doubt arises

It's a little part of you--pesky, persistent
That kept you company earlier
And now lingers

But you've done your work, haven't you?
To look at all your discordant parts
And acknowledge, integrate

Let's do the one thing that has always helped
Breathe, intentionally, slowly, deeply
Synchronize the body and mind

Whatever structure they had before
Had come crashing to the ground
The foundation exposed

We've looked at the ruins, bewildered
But not surprised, and then
We surrendered

Our story wasn't over yet, tough, we knew
So we got up and dusted off
And began to rebuild

This time, slowly, (almost) patiently, kindly
We worked in spurts, we rested
Unhurried, unfettered

We're still working on the foundation
Of whatever this next chapter
Is going to be

The waves of several opportunities
Have been quietly building up
And are now coming ashore

They all look so intimidating, menacing even
But if we notice all the gifts they're carrying
We can remain present and collect them

So, breathe, darling, and let's run across the shore
With those baby steps, gathering the seashells
Like we did way back when

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