A difficult choice

I've made a difficult choice recently
And I don't know where it's gonna take me
Or, maybe, I do
And, altough, I prefer not to think of it
It looms large like an omnipresent fear
It's a guilt I'm gonna carry for a long time to come
Not towards anyone else but myself
I wanted something, and was drawn towards it
Not only that, I got it moving in my direction
But then I was distracted by something else on the way
Something so desirable, and so accessible
I set aside my previous goal for another lifetime
Yet, this doesn't mean that the goal was less important or less desirable
But, somehow, I'm not yet capable of handling it
I'd prefer to wait, to learn, to stumble across numerous paths
Which could someday lead me to it
I may be blood-spattered or half-dead by then
But, I'll be sure I'm worthy of it
And wise enough to understand its true meaning